You Know You're Too Much of an Anime Otaku When...
by Lady PhoenixDagger
Summary: What can I say? It's just a handy thing to have around when the chibi anime characters start following you around -again...


You know you watch too much anime when… ****

You know you're too much of an anime otaku when…

  * You think eleven feet is a perfectly acceptable height to reach when jumping from a dead standstill.

  * When visiting the zoo, you stare at the pandas for hours on end, trying to find evidence of communication through pre-lettered signs.

  * You beg for a gigantic purple robot for your sixteenth birthday.

  * You get one.

  * The song "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan never fails to give you the creeps.

  * When asked what you're favorite song is, you instantly reply with "Wings of a Boy Who has Killed Adolescence!!!!!"

  * You can point out Takeuchi Naoko at twenty paces, but couldn't identify Ronald McDonald if he came up and kicked you in the ass.

  * When your school announces they will be introducing a new uniform program, you spend half the night praying before the unveiling for a fuku.

  * You can easily hit 45 mph in high heels and a mini skirt.

  * You've never had a bad hair day in your entire life.

  * Your idea of a wild night out is spending hours searching the rural areas around your home for herds of wild Totoro.

  * You consider metal bikinis to be the most indestructible manmade creations on the face of the planet.

  * In the "Create Your Own Faith" project in World Religions class, your primary deities of good are called Toryama Akira, CLAMP, Otomo Katsuhiro, and Kishiro Yukito respectively. Your evil deities? FUNimation and Dic, of course!

  * You understood the above quotation.  


  * You find guys who are prone to nosebleeds to be endearing and cute ("Aww, look, right onto his shirt! How sweet!")

  * Your favorite saying is "My mama always said life was like a bento box…"

  * When other girls were out burning their bras, you were right alongside them, burning your Scooby Doo doll with one hand and clutching a copy of "Akira" like a security blanket in the other.

  * You cried for hours at the end of "Kimba the White Lion."

  * You carry a large wooden mallet on dates, _just in case…_

  * You think Superman was a punk for having to use a phone booth.

  * You actually sat down and calculated how much hair is required to make those damn bunny ears on Chibi Usa's head. (Seven feet each, by the way. o.O)

  * You know more about j-pop then all other forms of music combined. ("Hey, has anyone heard the new one by Puffy Ami Yumi? Hello? Hello?")

  * You are legally married to a Sailor V UFO catcher doll.

  * You get all warm and tingly inside when called "meatball head".

  * Your legs make up more than 75% of your entire body structure.

  * Your hair makes up the other 25%.

  * You can recite the names of the _entire_ cast of Ranma ½ in reverse alphabetical order from memory, but get stuck when having to introduce yourself to somebody.

  * Your friends refuse to play Frisbee with you because of your embarrassing tendency to scream "Moon Tiara Magic!!!" at the top of your lungs after every throw.

  * You understood "End of Evangelion".

  * You did the Fusion Dance and were furious when you learned it didn't work.

  * You consider kimono and hikama pants to be standard evening attire.

  * You refer to the Oriental district of your hometown as "Mecca".

  * Most girls want flowers on Valentine's Day. You want pocky.

  * You know what the hell pocky is.

  * You haven't been able to watch Looney Tunes without gagging since the Carter administration.

  * Your children are named Ranma, Utena, Washu and Kenshin respectively.

  * Your favorite long car ride game is "Six Degrees of Sorcerous Stabber Orphen".

  * Your favorite grocery treat is "I Can't Believe It's Not Wasabi!" 

*****

Well, got to the end, did you? How did I do? Is this piece wonderful beyond words? Not too bad? Or does it stink like a rancid donkey on a hot day? Review and tell me! Your comments let me know whether or not a sequel would be viewed as a piece of classic literature or bonfire fodder.

Ja ne, minna-san!

--Lady Phoenixdagger *//.^*


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